Like you, I have a lot of roles and relationships I care a lot about; family, work, mentor, community member- oh, don’t forget myself! All too often I am focusing on what I need to do next in all these domains. My anxiety levels go up and my self-confidence goes down. Usually not soon enough, I renew the search for my lost sense of peace, calm, and life balance.
The truth is amazing results require focused time and attention. Doesn’t matter if we are referring to becoming a physician or learning to play the violin. Other important priorities, like your health and relationships, become “second fiddle”.
The antidote to feeling like “I have no life”, while pursing something important in life, is counterbalance. Gary Keller, in his amazing book The One Thing: The surprisingly simple truth behind extraordinary results, recommends we get used to being “out of balance”; just not to stay there too long. Counterbalancing is moving back and forth between your priorities so you can focus on your big goal and not stay away too long from the other priorities that bring you quality of life.
Think of the priorities in your life as juggling 5 balls: work, family, health, friends and integrity.
James Patterson, in his novel, Suzanne’s Diary for Nicholas, wrote, “Work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. The other four balls are made of glass…drop one of these, it will be irrevocably scuffed, nicked, perhaps even shattered.”
Knowing when to pursue the extremes and when to seek the middle is the essence of wisdom.